Sunday, December 11, 2011


Low winter rays burn my retinas, bite my brain
But the ice cold river whispers in my ear, promising to ease my pain.
The sun and the guard-rail are one,
My heart and the current are another.
The maelstrom seeks out my soul, like a lover
To lie forever in its icy embrace,
Frozen in a peaceful state of grace.
My tears rise as steam off the surface of the St-Lawrence
As dark thoughts come in torrents.
What if the shock awakens me to a new reality
And my mind changes, cowardly ideas loosen their hold?
Paralyzed, no longer by fear but by the cold,
It will be too late to fight the imminent brutality.
5 years have flowed under that bridge.
Laughable now, to imagine contemplating that plunge.
The futility of it, like battling a flood with a sponge.
"Bring it on!" I scream to the sky,
"Is that all you got, Big Guy?"
There is no going back, in Life or Death;
It's an onward journey, from the first to the



Peace to all,

Andrea, Wanda, Volcandrea, whatever.


  1. Sunday, December 11, 2011


    NO! NO! NO! The living being is a string instrument. You must learn how to tighten this string and loosen that one until you become living music.

    That music can be disturbing or not, but it belongs to the heart.

    Your “Dry Drowing” is “Self-indulgence”. You were not born to be that.

    Eppou warmly bids you good evening.

  2. Dear Eppou,
    At first I was hurt by your "self-indulgence" remark, which my mind watered and fertilized, and it grew, flourished and bloomed into "selfish" within a few hours. Selfish, I am not.
    But you are correct that "Dry Drowning" is self-indulgence, in reminding myself how everything (thoughts, feelings, bodies, words, seasons, homes, action and non-action) are all temporary. In the moment or with time, we can adapt.
    I think Dry Drowning is simply the noticing of the shift from I/me/mine to you/we/ours. I wanted to share with my friends in low places (cuz that's the only kind I got), as they have been gracious enough to share with me.
    Dry Drowning is the past;bring on the now.
    Thank you for your valued opinion, as always.

  3. A most gracious response to an ignorant comment by one who surely misunderstands the context of this beautiful reflection.

    A moment in the past where you knew not how to go on. Yet go on you did. Or time did, as the moment passed, like more debris floating down the river: the diagnosis. But love, like the water itself, never goes down the river.

    Thank you very much for sharing your journey.

  4. Thank you for expressing what I evidently could not. Your support (and everyone else's) along the road is a welcome surprise, and a much appreciated gesture. Everyone needs a hand up once in awhile.

  5. Bone-chilling.
    Bold emotional honesty.
    Brilliantly expressed.


  6. L,
    I think you have a 'b' in your bonnet!
    Today is the 5 year anniversary of Simon's diagnosis of Duchenne MD. It seemed like a death sentence at the time, but was really just a wake-up call. Thank you for being there, then and now.

  7. Audra,
    I would have posted your comment too, but I deleted it by accident from my e-mail. So instead I have an ad for Viagra and Cialis which states "Christmas is coming".

  8. Volcandrea,
    So many times I felt that you were more there for us than we for you.
    Despite extreme challenges, your inner light never dims...

    “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.