Monday, December 31, 2012

Hurry Up and Wait

Hurry up and wait,
You musn't be late!
There's a deadline to respect;
It's all cause and effect.
Now if you'd just stand in the line,
Everything will be fine.                          

Fill out this form and wait for our call.
Remember, no news is good news,
So kindly follow protocol.

There'll be no time for small print
Or rubbing temples with rue.          
Just sign on the dotted line,
It simply means you can't sue.

Take a number, have a seat,                              
Wait at the bar.
Take off all your clothes and slip on
This examination gown.
Congratulations, you've reached the top of the list,
So don't wander far.

We regret to inform you that an error was made.
Standard procedures were not followed, we're afraid.
Rest assured we will investigate,
but it's certainly not our fault!
Because you did not enquire,
You played your part!

Yes the waiting list is a mile long
But you must start over,
Go to the back of the line.
You seem upset, is there something wrong?

We may have mentioned 18 months
and it took 3 years.
Madame, really, is there nothing between your ears?
What do you mean, "whom do I have to bribe, whom do I blow?"
Please consult our website for further info.

Your appointment for 9 a.m. has been cancelled;
The doc is running hehind.
But he called from traffic with a message to ease your mind.
"The golfing was great, and your cyst is benign!"

Life is so precious and sublime,
You'll miss it while you blink.
Now hurry and fill out this report,
Let's not waste any more time.
Print in block letters and use black or blue ink.

"How may I help you? Please hold the line.
All our agents are currently busy"
(With other patrons who bitch and whine).


  1. Hurry Up and Wait = Modern life, in a nutshell. (a nut's hell?)

  2. Do me a favor and don't let USA readers see this.

    The powers that be are always scaring everybody about waiting in line for socialized medicine in Canada. Their solution: give them nothing so they won't have to wait for it.

    Nice ditty though.